Hilarious conversations: the sequel

 [Warning: this post contains references to baby by-products]

Vignette #238234564 – week 7

Brendon: I find it really disconcerting when you fall asleep while I’m talking to you
Me: I’m listening, I’m listening
Brendon: Your eyes are closed

 

Vignette #98734245 – week 6

Brendon: What colour was his poo today?
Me: Chicken korma softserve

 

Vignette #756382038 – week 5, 7 am

Brendon: How was last night? How many times did he wake up?
Me: Sorry but I just can’t do a post match analysis interview right now, it’s too depressing
Vignette #1230973192 Week 8

Me: Those nextdoor neighbours are so sweet but they are FAR too cheerful to be new parents. What do you think they are on?

Brendon: M we were just like that on day 9.

Me: The poor things!
Vignette #232806086 week 4, 8 am

Brendon: Gus, your mom deserves a medal
Gus: *smiles broadly*
Me: *bursts into tears*

 

Vignette #45638102, week 6, 8pm

Brendon: Where have you been?

Me: I was in the baby’s room rocking him in the chair in the dark and fell asleep. When I woke up his little beady eyes were just staring at me. I wonder what he was thinking…

 

Vignette #84537342 Week 6

Me: Here, you hold the baby while I write that copy for you

 

Vignette #3812983144 week 7

My mum: You do know cranial osteopathy is not evidence based?
Me, internally: Babies aren’t evidence based, have you ever seen a baby fill out a survey?

 

 Vignette #9890712312 – week 7, bathtime

Brendon: Bathtime with Gus (to camera)

Me: Say that again sorry I wasn’t recording

Brendon: Bathtime with Gus…oh no!

Me: AH did he make a poo?

Brendon: Yes!

Me: Wow good timing, we were about to put you in your bath Gus!

Brendon: Is he done do you think?

Me: Good catch dad! I reckon there are about two more squirts in him…he’s not a one squirt poo-er

Brendon: Pass the wipes

Me: Here you go

Brendon: Are you still filming? He’s going to hate us when he’s older and we show this to him…

 

* Post script: If you enjoyed this post, you might like this one too Hilarious Conversations