The twelve days of Christmas (with a teething baby)

According to Wikipedia, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is a popular English Christmas Carol that lists a number of gifts (12, duh!) that are given each day, starting on Christmas day. The tune most of us are familiar with is derived from a 1909 arrangement of a traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin (who added the bit about the five gold rings, who knew!).

Sing with me, won’t you?

On the first day of Christmas,

the baby gave to me

A big sticky kiss for her mommy (and wouldn’t let me put her down, like ever).

……………………….

On the second day of Christmas,

the baby gave to me

Two bright red cheeks

And big sticky kiss for her mommy (while refusing any food other than plain yoghurt).

……………………………….

On the third day of Christmas,

the baby gave to me

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And grumpy headbutt for her tired mommy. 

…………………………….

On the fourth day of Christmas,

the baby decided to get

FOUR NEW TEETH

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And be a clammy, fussy mess for her mommy.

………………………………..

On the fifth day of Christmas,

I got to deal with

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And a tired, clingy moaning child all day.

…………………….

On the sixth day of Christmas,

the baby made me take

Six shots of caffeine-in

#becauseFiveTeethingRings

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And big sticky kiss for her mommy (while still only eating yoghurt).

………………………..

On the seventh day of Christmas,

the baby let rip

Seven tempers tantrumming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And teary-snotty-face-plant into my new jumper.

…………………………….

On the eighth day of Christmas,

the baby gave to me

Eight nappies a-fouling

Seven tempers tantrumming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And her first proper steps in front of the family.

…………………………

On the ninth day of Christmas,

the baby made me go through

Nine bottles a-calpol-ing

Eight nappies a-fouling

Seven tempers tantruming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And an indifferent kiss for her mommy.

…………………………….

On the tenth day of Christmas,

the baby gave me no choice

Ten gins a-tonicing

#becauseNinebottlesa-calpol-ing

Eight nappies a-fouling

Seven tempers tantrumming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And only wants her daddy all day!

…………………………

On the eleventh day of Christmas,

the baby inspired me

Eleven plots for escaping

Ten gins a-tonicing

Nine bottles a-calpol-ing

Eight nappies a-fouling

Seven tempers tantrumming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

And still only wanted her daddy!

………………………………

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

the baby gave to me

Twelve back-to-back In the Night Gardening

Eleven plots for escaping

Ten gins a-tonicing

Nine bottles a-calpol-ing

Eight nappies a-fouling

Seven tempers tantrumming

Six shots of caffeine-in

Five teething rings!

Four new teeth

Three hours sleep

Two bright red cheeks

You’ve got to be *falala* kidding me!